Happiness

This month I took on an interesting assignment. I have to write an article on the science of happiness. So I went to talk to different people about what they know.

1. I had a conversation with a young lama from Malaysia who told me happiness is a state of mind, when it's quiet.

The founder of their centre is named the 'happiest man on earth' by some American scientists who did an experiment on him.

Meditation is the key, the lama told me.

It is when you don't think about the future, or the past, but the presence, only.

It allows you to relax your mind, and makes you become more aware of space, time, your senses,
eventually yourself, and others.

Learning to meditate, and you will learn to live in the now, which leads to happiness.

Your mind at that state will give you clarity and power to solve any problems.

Talking to him made me happy too. His positive, unassuming attitude, his gentle smile is contagious.

He is someone who isn't just talking about happiness. He is happy.


2. Then I talked to a research director from the UK who presented many surveys done in the West.

It's all about comparison, he said.

According to statistics, people are happier when they're with others who're less well-off, less wealthy, less of everything than they are.

What miserable idea, I thought to myself.

But apparently, it's as true as the figures show. It's human nature to be jealous and not capable to feel happy for others when they're doing well.

A miserable fact.

He said the trick for lottery winners to stay happy  is to never move house. When people win a lottery, they tend to move to a nicer bigger house, then find themselves being surrounded by richer people in the neighborhood, and then becoming even more miserable than before.

We all know money can make us happy, but only for some time. Richer people have more means and less to worry about, therefore are happier in general.

But, they won't feel excited after getting the second, third or fourth house or sports car. (But they will still get them, because they want more.) And they will spend a lot time worrying about how to make more money, then thinking about how to get more stuff with the money they have.

Sounds like a tragic story.

Younger adults under 20 and older people above 65 are happier than the rest of the age groups. Why?
When you're young, you 'think' your life is limitless and you 'feel' hopeful and happy. When you're old, you know nothing is as important, and you can finally relax and chill, and be happy.

Middle-aged are the unhappiest group, unfortunately, because of 'mid-life crisis' which is real. So try your best to get through middle-aged and you'll be fine, he said.

Knowledge does make us happy; so go get that degree and keep on learning.

3. Now I have to finish a book called Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert.
He talks about how human beings are caught up in the idea of 'future' and keep 'imagining' something that will make us happy, in future.

And the truth?

When that 'something' actually happens, it is never what we think it can do - make us happy.

More to read on.